After many years of eating healthy and exercising daily and elderly couple died in an unfortunate auto accident and found themselves suddenly at Heaven's gate. They met Saint Peter, who began giving them a tour. Ad they walked down the streets of Heaven, St. Peter would wave his hand in one direction or another and say, "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts. The swimming pool is that way, and you'll find four golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area and an angel will be glad to mix your favorite cocktail." The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost him and St. Peter replied, "the bill has already been paid"... "Dammit, Gertrude," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't forced me to stop smoking, drinking and had us eating all that oat bran, wheat germ and low-fat food and exercising!"

The Christmas Tree Skirt

I've always wanted a beautiful shawl to wear so when I opened the Christmas present from my sister and saw that it was a colorful shawl I couldn't wait to wear it. Well yesterday I wore it to the Dollar Tree and to the restaurant to have lunch with my daughter and then and I even I strutted my fancy shawl all over Wal-Mart before heading home... My sister called me after I got home and I told her how much I loved my new Shawl and that I'd been wearing it all afternoon...then there was a pause and she said." "You wore it?" giggle, giggle, "It's a skirt for the Christmas tree, you dumbass."

New Year 2025

I haven't blogged in years, maybe it's time to get back to it before time runs out, perhaps I should have added. "Blog more" to my list.

 

7 Up Biscuits

2 cups Bisquick
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup 7-up
1/4 cup melted butter

Preheat oven to 450.
Cut sour cream into biscuit mix, add 7-Up. Makes a very soft dough.
Sprinkle additional biscuit mix on board or table and pat dough out. Cut in to 9 biscuits.
Melt 1/4 cup butter in a 9 inch square pan.
Place cut biscuits in pan and bake for 12-15 minutes or until golden brown.

I don't have time to try out all the recipes I've been seeing posted by friends lately. So, when I see one I may want to try in the future, I'm posting it here so I don't lose it or forget about it. This one looks cheap and easy, maybe I can even con my 12 year old daughter into testing this one out...

Ingredients
1 lb. sausage (pork or turkey)
1 (8 oz.) package cream cheese
2 packages crescent rolls
Dash salt & ground black pepper
Directions
In a saute pan, brown sausage; drain. Add a dash of salt and pepper. Blend in cream cheese until the cream cheese is melted.
Unroll one package of crescent rolls and place on a baking sheet. With your fingers, gently press the seams together to seal them. Spread the sausage mixture evenly over the crescent roll dough, leaving about a 1/2-inch border along the edges.
Unroll the remaining package of crescent rolls and place on top of the sausage mixture. Press the edges together to seal. Gently press the seams together.
Bake at 375 degrees for about 20 minutes, or until crescent roll dough is golden brown.
Cut into small squares and serve. (A pizza cutter makes really quick and easy work of the cutting.).

Enjoy!

Well heck, I ran across another nifty idea I want to remember... So, here's another interesting project on my list...

Just cut the top off of an empty salt container, take a canning flat and draw a circle around on the top with the spout on the side... Cut it out, put inside a canning ring, and screw on mason jar... How cool is that?

A friend posted this recipe and I don't have the ingredients or time to do it today, but I don't want to lose the recipe. What better place to keep it than right here? 

STRAWBERRY CREAM CHEESE COBBLER!!!! 

 Strawberry Cream Cheese Cobbler

1 stick ( 1/2 cup) butter

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 cup milk

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 quarts whole strawberries, capped and washed

4 ounces cream cheese, cut in small pieces

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt butter and pour into a 9-by-13-inch glass baking dish. In a small bowl, mix together the egg, milk, flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Pour directly over the butter in the baking dish, but do not stir.

Add the strawberries, arranging in a single layer as much as possible. Sprinkle cream cheese pieces over strawberries. Place in preheated oven and bake for 45 minutes, or until top is golden brown and edges are bubbling. (Crust rises up and around the fruit, but fruit will still peek out of top.)

I've seen these little cups forever and never knew this...
All these years, when we ate out... We used three or four because they were so freaking small...
Then, I saw this picture the other day...
I've never seen anyone use them that way before...
It's so damn simple it just never caught on with most of us...
Now I wonder what other simple things I'm missing?
Who'd a thunk those things get bigger? 

New Years Resloutions...

1. I will stop leaving my dirty socks lying in the middle of the floor. I'll leave them on the kitchen table, where they're easier to find.
2. I will stop boring my boss with the same ole lame excuse when I call in sick. This year I'm gonna think of better excuses than I got the runs..
3. I'm gonna stop sitting around in my tee shirt and panties on Saturday morning while drinking my coffee and playing on the puter... For now on.. I'll take my puter into the bedroom until I decide to get dressed.
4. I'll try and quit blaming the dog every time I fart.
5. I will never ever... feed the dogs leftover beans again.. OK, so sometimes it is them who farts..
6. I'll stop pretending it isn't time to take the garbage out by repeatedly smashing it down 'til my arms ache.
7. I'll stop hitting the snooze button repeatedly in the morning.. For now on, I'm going to set three different alarms.
8. I will no longer sit at the computer all the time.... I will try to stand while I type for at least thirty minutes a day.
9. I will never again light a cigarette right after spraying my hair down with hair spray. Wonder how long it takes for eyebrows to grow back???
  Well.. What did you expect? You didn't really think I was gonna make some resolutions i coudn't keep... did ya?

Thanksgiving Dinner Rules

            10 RULES FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER AT MY HOUSE

1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in

there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it?" Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat anything.
2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your butt down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them damn pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.
3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort their little butts to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butch to start telling family stories about their mamas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except that they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their butts!
4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a damn. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes.
5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy ass home next year!
6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing damn well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding.
7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF MY DOMAIN!!!
8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DHS on your ignorant ass!!
9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your ass home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICKED THE HELL OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell.
10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET!

Internal Server Error

I actually got this from Yahoo one time when I was trying to forward something... And people wonder why they have so much trouble with Yahoo mail..

 I tell you.. If I had saw a team of highly trained monkeys, I would have thrown out my drink and took my ass to bed...

$5.99 for A 2 Lb. box of Velveeta cheese at Price Chopper OR $6.88 for a 2 Lb. box of Velveeta cheese at Wal-Mart? W.T.H. ever happened to "Lowest prices in town"? Nope, I ain't satisfied.... Not to mention the fact that, I can find... toilet paper, garbage bags, sandwich bags, cleaning products, bath products and much much more cheaper at the dollar store or grocery store... What's up with that Wal-Mart? Can anybody say... "They need to change their slogan"?

Ya know, I really didn't want to have to go to a bunch of different stores to get all my shopping done. But, I decided... If I can get it somewhere cheaper, Wal-Mart ain't getting that dollar...

Dyke Family Home

For the past few weeks I've been talking to two of my Aunts about our family and how we are kin to some of our relatives. One of my aunts sent me a picture of the home my grandmother grew up in. They said Granny Hazel commented about how she had to help clean and polish the winding staircase and just hated it. Here is the picture of the old Dyke family home.

My sister called me this morning and told me our cousin Teresa, who didn't know I was trying to figure out a bit about our family tree...Had called her to tell her about a strange dream she had. Teresa said she was standing in front of this big two story house, then she opened the door and went in. She could hear beautiful music and she followed the music up the winding stair case and down the hall until she got to the door the music was coming from. When she opened the door, there was our mom (who passed away in 2003) playing the piano. Teresa said mom looked surprised to see her and asked her what she was doing there, to which Teresa replied, "I don't know"... Then mom said, "We have to get you out of here quick, there's a storm coming"... Then  the dream was over and Tresa was wakened by a loud clap of thunder from the thunderstorm that was going on as she slept.

Now her dream, isn't so unusual. What was though, is Teresa didn't know anything about about the Dyke family home or it having a winding staircase. She told my sister she did a quick sketch of it after her dream and she forwarded it to her... and  then my sister forwarded it to me.. Uncanny resemblance in the houses wouldn't you say?

 I may not have a picture of my big ole hairy beaver surfing around on the internet... But, there may be a few comments or stories here and there that one day my daughters or grandsons will see. All I have to say about that is.. At least they'll know who they got the attitude from.

Kin folk

Sometimes I stop at the beauty shop my sister owns and she’ll be fixing some little old ladies hair, then she’ll say, “This is Aunt Ruby”… Or…”This is Aunt Opel”… Or …”This is cousin so and so”, and I usually have no idea who they are or how we’re kin. Not too long ago, when I popped in the beauty shop.. she said, “This is Cousin Betty”, Betty and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing. I had met Betty a few months earlier because she sat with one of my clients, we had no idea we were cousins. Now another cousin and I are trying to figure out how we’re cousins, we have it narrowed down to Aunt Mable (his grandma) and Momma Hazel (my grandma), but we’re not sure how they were kin. He said, maybe they were half sisters… Notice, he said, “MAYBE”.. In he doesn’t know for sure. However, that is highly possible because I remember my mom talking about her granddad; he was either married seven times or had seven different lady friends he kept company with. The story was, when one would get mad at him and kick him out of the house he would be seen going down the road to another lady friend’s house with all his stuff packed on his horses back. I think he bounced around between them. Hummm, now I’m going to have to find somebody old who remembers .. And find out just how many kids this grandpa had.

Back in the 90’s, a little old lady from momma Hazel’s side of the family (whom I didn’t know) passed away and my dad who was preaching the funeral said there might not be a lot of family and friends there because she had outlived most of them and it would be nice if I went since I was laid off and had all that free time on my hands. So, I went. When I got inside where all the family was waiting to be seated before the funeral, I didn’t see one person I knew. I was beginning to think I was at the wrong funeral then, Bill and Laverne Jones showed up.. I’m not sure how we’re kin to them either; I don’t even know which one we’re kin to.. But, I betcha it has something to do with my great grandpa.

I"m A Fire Spotter

I Saw this on the way to one of my clients house today and called 911 and told them the levee was on fire and I didn't see anyone trying to put it out... And of course, I gave her directions... Go through the four way stop towards Ingleside and you can't miss it, she said OK and hung up..
Then my sister who was listening to the scanner called me and said, "Call them back, they can't find it."
Sooo, I called them back...

Ring....
911...."911"
Me..."It's me again"
911..."Where's the fire at"
Me... You know where the four way stop is on state street by the golf course?"
911... "EVERYBODY knows where the four way stop is", (Duh, she was starting to sound kinda snippy) ;)
Me... "Well then, at the stop sign... Go straight like you're going to Ingleside and keep on going, you can't miss it." ( I mean, how big is Ingleside? I don't think it's even on the map)
911... Is it by the road?"
Me... "NO lady, I told you... It's on the levee"
Well, they found it.. That was around two P.m.... When I was on my way home close to 6 P.M.... There were more trucks heading out that way and it was still going. :(

 My Great Great Aunt Edith... 

Edith May Dyke born May 4, 1877

             in New Canton, Illinois   Pike County

 

           Father:  Noble M. Dyke   born in 1833    Pennsylvania

                           died Jane 1903 in   Pike County, Illinois

 

            Mother:  Adellia S. Turner  born in  1844 in England

 

Aunt Edith lead an interesting life from what little I can find out through old newspaper clipping and from my Aunt Linda who visited with her often.

Edith May Dyke left town (Hannibal, MO.) at the age of 17 with

          a circus that came to town.  

     She started in show business as a singer of ballads.

   This start led to a far more exciting career a an aerial performer.

 

    While singing ballads the then Miss Edith Dyke was tutored on style

   and technique by Mr. and Mrs. Harry James, the grand-parents of

  the renowned Harry James. There were musicians into he show in which 

  Miss Dyke first started singing.

 

   At the age of 19 she became Mrs. Ansel Smith upon marrying showman

  Ansel Smith who had been appearing at the Temple Theatre on East

   Broadway in Alton.

 

   They started work immediately on an aerial act which was to later tour 

   internationally. The act started touring the United States and after covering 

   47 states toured up through British Columbia, Nova Scotia and other    

   provinces of Canada. And also did three command performance for the

   King and Queen of England.

 

   Ringling Brothers, Hagenbeck and Wallace, and Norris Roe are only three

  of many famous circuses and shows that presented their act.

 

    After touring the North America continent, their act was featured in such

   far off places as Hawaii, the Samoan Islands, Australia, New Zealand and

   Tasmania. Visiting a total of 27 countries with their high wire act.

 

       In 1917 the Smiths bought a home in East Alton at 526 Bowman Ave, 

    The Smiths lived there for three years to care for her husbands ailing

     Mother, who later fell victim to one of the flu epidemics of that time and

    passed away.

 

     In 1919 the Smiths went back to their profession and their first engagement

    was the Academy Theatre in Chicago. Nine years later after touring the

    United States and part of Canada again, they did another show at the 

    Academy Theatre. This was their last public professional theater engagement.

        

    For years the Smith's backyard was like a circus with all the neighborhood children

   being taught stunts by Mr. Smith....one of the back yard tutelage was

     Millie Weller of Jerseyville, Illinois. She was taught the high wire act and went

    on tour every summer. 

 

               Aunt Edith passed away  July of 1960

 

 

 

Friends doing Chubby Bunny

This is my daughter and her friends doing the chubby bunny challenge. One of them saw it on Youtube and they just had to do one of their own.

Can You Spare A Dollar

The other day as I was walking back to my car from the store a man who was walking by smiled and waved, since everyone in this town is pretty friendly I waved back. After getting in my car there was a peck at my window, it was this same man. I rolled down my window and he said, "Sorry to bother you but I only have 50 cents and was wondering if you could spare a dollar or two so I can get something to eat". Well, I wasn't lying when I responded with, "I'm sorry, but I just spent all my cash in the store", then he said, "No problem" and turned to walk away. Just then I had a thought, I'd bought some Vienna sausages, I can give them to him... So, I rolled down my window and hollered, "Hey, I have some Vienna sausages you can have!" Now can you believe this hungry man who was out begging for money so he could get a bite to eat turned to me and said, "No thanks"? I don't think that man was hungry at all!

What Happened To The Cake?

Last week when my daughter made a bunt cake, it fell a little on one side. To even it out she put a little extra icing in the low parts then set it on the counter. Later as her husband was cutting a slice of the cake he asked her what had happened to it and since she didn't look to see what he was talking about, she told him it fell in the oven, but was still good. Later that day as she was starting to cook dinner she realized what her husband meant when he asked what had happened to the cake....
It seems their oldest son who is tall enough to reach the counter had been grabbing handfuls all day long. His mom said, "I knew he was over there a lot today, but I thought he was reaching for his sippy cup". They are coming over for Thanksgiving dinner next week guess what she offered to bring... Ummmmmm... The cake.