Can You Spare A Dollar

The other day as I was walking back to my car from the store a man who was walking by smiled and waved, since everyone in this town is pretty friendly I waved back. After getting in my car there was a peck at my window, it was this same man. I rolled down my window and he said, "Sorry to bother you but I only have 50 cents and was wondering if you could spare a dollar or two so I can get something to eat". Well, I wasn't lying when I responded with, "I'm sorry, but I just spent all my cash in the store", then he said, "No problem" and turned to walk away. Just then I had a thought, I'd bought some Vienna sausages, I can give them to him... So, I rolled down my window and hollered, "Hey, I have some Vienna sausages you can have!" Now can you believe this hungry man who was out begging for money so he could get a bite to eat turned to me and said, "No thanks"? I don't think that man was hungry at all!

What Happened To The Cake?

Last week when my daughter made a bunt cake, it fell a little on one side. To even it out she put a little extra icing in the low parts then set it on the counter. Later as her husband was cutting a slice of the cake he asked her what had happened to it and since she didn't look to see what he was talking about, she told him it fell in the oven, but was still good. Later that day as she was starting to cook dinner she realized what her husband meant when he asked what had happened to the cake....
It seems their oldest son who is tall enough to reach the counter had been grabbing handfuls all day long. His mom said, "I knew he was over there a lot today, but I thought he was reaching for his sippy cup". They are coming over for Thanksgiving dinner next week guess what she offered to bring... Ummmmmm... The cake.

Wet phone comes back to life

WooHoo... Thank God for the internet... AND... Rice!!! On May 5th I wrote about searching on e-bay for a new phone because I dropped mine in a sink full of water. As soon as I dropped it, I snatched it out and dried it off, it was working for a minute and quit. I thought that SOB was a goner. However, being the internet junkie I am I goggled how to dry out/save a wet phone. Fortunately, I found an article that said to take the battery out and cover the phone and battery in dry rice. The theory being the rice will draw the moisture out of the phone and it will work again. I really had my doubts, but what did I have to loose. So, the first three days whenever I inserted the sims card and turned the phone on, all it would do after it said Hellomoto was go to the internet!!! As a result, I pretty well gave up on it and haven't checked the phone in the last few days; however, today I thought I would give it another try and would you believe the dang thing works??? Now you watch and see if my new phone don't come in the mail tomorrow!!!

Phishers & Scammers

I have this friend who sent me an e-mail about six months ago, informing me his Yahoo account had been phished and if I received any unusual e-mails... They were not from him and to ignore them... Oooops, too late, I had already received one and thought he was joking so I made up my own little reply and had sent it back. Imagin the scammers face when they got my reply...

Here is what the scammer sent me when posing as my friend.
Hello.
How are you doing? Please I really don't feel like disturbing you with my little problem but I don't have any one else to turn to, I am seeking for help from you please try to understand. Actually, I traveled down to Nigeria to witness the grand opening of the first ever free trade zone called "Tinapa" in Africa, thinking maybe I could get any opportunity to have a place to trade to, but unfortunately for me, I got robbed by some street orchids while trying to get a cab back to my hotel. Right now am stranded and so cash strapped, I can't even think straight now. With the chumpchange I've on me, I have access only to email and worst is my mobile phone doesn't work here. So I was thinking if you'd lend me the sum amount of $1500 to settle my hotel bills and other things please. I'd pay you back as soon as I get back. I am so confused right now. You can have it sent directly to the Western Union Money Transfer Office down here. My passport is not with me.
I am almost impatiently waiting for your reply.
With regards.
XXXXX

Now... Here is the reply I sent when I thought it was my friend pulling a joke

Dear XXX
Oh my, I do hate to hear of your disturbing situation. However, I am sorry to say at the time my millions are tied up in stocks and bonds and real estate investments. Further compounding my cash shortage is the fact that I spent considerably more money that I anticipated during my recent trip to London to meet the Queen. Another reason for my cash shortage is the fact that I broke my ankle while dancing with her son, Philip.... He actually isn't as good a dancer as I would have expected. Although I cannot help you personally, I will see if my cousins the Walton's may be in a position where they could be of assistance, perhaps they have a Wal-Mart there where you could work and save up the money for the trip home... In addition,my Uncle Bill and Aunt Hilliary may be able to help you in obtaining another passport, they do have a little pull in the political area. I will give them your e-mail address immediately, as I am leaving the country in the morning on a trip to Japan with Donald Trump and am not sure as to how long we will be gone. Knowing how well you adapt, I think by the time you receive my e-mail, you will be enjoying your time with the natives and may not need my help in returning to this God forsaken country anyway. Have a good day and enjoy Nigeria, I hear it's beautiful there!!
Cindi

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Great Gift for the Outdoorsman

Hey Ladies, do you ever get tired of Your man being under your feet all day because it's too cold for him to get outside and do anything? Do you get tired of watching him stare out the window waiting for the rain to stop so he can go catch that big one? Would you like to have a little peace and quite? Wouldn't it be nice to have the house all to yourself for awhile? Wouldn't it be wonderful if for ONCE he came home from a fishing trip without all those misquote bites and scratching like a dog for days? Tired of hearing him complain about the flies buzzing his beer while he is trying to fish and dang tired of him coming home at the end of a hard days fishing with skin so red he looks like a beet? Well, have I got the thing for you... Buy Your man this handy dandy boat cover, guaranteed to protect him from wind, rain, sun and all kinds of flying insects and keep him out of your hair for days. Your man will be able to stay out fishing longer.... all night, even for days! Can you imagine all that time for yourself? How great would that be? You will have that precious extra time you so deserve to enjoy the things you like to do. Easily attaches to any boat, different sizes available, free curtains to first twenty purchases.... Offer only available in the South... Price negotiable, will take livestock, bonds, beer, or land. Bartering is also welcome, shoot me an offer! We don't deliver, you buy it, you come get it! Hurry, get him one for Father's Day!!!!!

River Rat

When I was growing up the people in the town close to us used to call all of us river rats because we live right on the river. My mother's family have lived in this town for many generations and we are kin to a lot of folk out here because of one great great grandfather who had many wives... Hehehe... Rumor was when he would make one mad everyone knew because they would see him with his mattress on his horses back going to one of his other women's house. Anyway, some older people have been going through their old photographs and when they find one with our kinfolk they have been nice enough to pass them on to us. This is my great grandmother on her houseboat, I see where our love for the river comes from, I guess when my grandma told people she grew up on the river she meant it...

My mothers dad was electrocuted in a flood when he touched a electrical wire when she was only five years old. He was in a boat with some other people going to town to get some things for their families. I have heard stories from people telling how they all stayed in the top story of what is the museum now during the floods... Our town was the county seat for Jackson county during the time the riverboats was the main means of transporting goods. This is a pic of my great grandfather, I don't know if they still lived on a boat or not, but get a load of that fish ... AND that truck... lol...Oh, and those other catfish in the truck ain't nothing to sneeze at
!!. My sister just got this picture from an old family relative a few days ago, we had never seen it.

Well, if this rain we are getting don't stop we are going to be thinking of heading for the hills. I would have moved out here sooner last year, but the river was up and they were sandbagging and people were moving out. I don't think it will get that bad this year, but the river is rising and is at 20ft. .... flood stage is 28ft. I have a storm cellar for the tornadoes... looks like I need to get me one of them there boats like my great great granny had.... Here is a pic of the road leading to the boat ramp in my town, I don't think anyone is going to be unloading their boat there today!

The Hair Cut

I think school pictures are just something to help us prepare for getting our drivers license pictures taken when we get older....Really, how many kids actually take a great school picture? I know I have taken a few that were God awful...Furthermore, I used to love it when my sisters took bad ones....I always made sure to save one of those and torment them with . Well, my kid is not any different she has took her share of bad school pictures. However, did she really have to go and cut on her hair right before picture day?? Ohhhhh I was mad...... One would think I would be used to it by now, I have lost count as to how many times she has taken the scissors to her hair in the past. So I asked her, "Is this the kind of hair cut you wanted, Your hair standing straight up on your head?"........So here is her third grade school picture in all it's glory.....my precious little snaggle toothed angel with her horns showing! Does she look like she cares or what? Hummmmmm .....I cannot believe what she just asked me as I am writing this? "Mom....I need some scissors...you got some?" ............GOTTA GO!!!!!!!!!

Monster TV Remote

My kid is forever loosing the remote control to the TV and whining to me when she can't find it. However, since I don't watch TV too often, I don't worry about looking for it. Well, the remote had been missing for about two months when what did I spot on the shelf at the store last week? One of the biggest universal TV remotes I have ever seen... this thing is almost as big as my head... lol... Well,I bought it and after I got home I decided I would have a little fun with it before I let her know she didn't have to get up off the couch and walk across the living room anymore to change the channels. I had to get something for my $10.00 didn't I? Hehehe....So after supper she turns on the TV then plops down on the couch... and in a few minutes... I click the TV off... then she gets up, goes to the TV and turns it back on and sets back down.....So I change the channels with the remote....Hehehehe......then she gets back up......(God I'm having trouble keeping from laughing out loud)... and fixes it....sets down.....(Oh, this is too much fun)!!! This goes on for a while...and sometimes it would just keep changing channels.....she got to where she would get it fixed and stand there waiting for it to mess up....and as soon as she sat down....click..she was getting madder than a one eyed rattle snake....She kept fussing and telling me the TV was messing up....hehehehe.....ohhhh that was sooo much fun!! Then she caught me, I was laughing so hard when she took the remote out of my hands I didn't hear what she said.... It's probably a good thing I didn't hear her or she would be grounded from the TV!!

Free cat...As Is!!!!!

......................Free to good home......................

Free to good home, One ugly, worthless, mangy, good for nothing, two bit ornery, mean, nasty, sorry, cross eyed, filthy, lazy, back pack crapping cat!!! Food bowl and litter box included. Has used one of it's lives already, however still has eight left. Cat does not get along well with back packs and has been known to cause embarrassing situations and cannot be trusted very far. Note of caution, cannot say cat is litter box trained, but with patience and the right weapon, anything is possible... Cat can be lovable at times... But really not worth the trouble. Answers to the name of Stinker. No returns!!

So, I guess you are wondering what this cat could have done that was so bad, well I'll explain. The day started out great, I got up early enough to have an extra cup of coffee and Cassidy got up the first time I asked her and got ready for school. I thought WooHoo... We are going to be early today instead of our mad dash out the door. So Cassidy is standing in the rain while I lock the house and she comments on something stinking, I just figure it is fertilizer the farmers have been spreading on their crops. However, when we get in the car the smell in unmistakably cat poop, so we both checked our shoes and found nothing. I thought perhaps it was something she had left in the back seat and let her know this afternoon we would be cleaning out the car.
We arrive at school and Mr. Panky meets her with his umbrella and as they are walking off.... I SEE IT! I am hoping it is where her hair got wet in the rain, but I have this nagging feeling it ain't rain! About five minutes after I am at the office my cell phone rings... "Hello"... It's the school secretary, "Ms. Mccloud, do you own a cat?" .... "Yes we do"......"Well, the cat must have pooped on her backpack and when she put it on got poop all in her hair, can you please come and pick her up and wash her hair?" Well I guess that explained the smell. She smelled the office up so they made her sit in the hall while she waited for me to get there... When I arrived at the school, there was her backpack... Leaning up against the outside of the school building. Well, Cassidy wasn't traumatized, actually she was smiling and even posed for pictures before we washed that smell right outta her hair... So after I wash her hair we are on the way back to school and cassidy says, "We were real early today, now we're late again".... Ohhhh shut up!!!!!

Who Wants A Massage?

We went to the mall in Jonesboro last week, I think they have a little bit of EVERYTHING and then some. A person could easily spend the whole day in there and not see it all especially if you are like me and get stuck in Spenser's and the book store..... Oh and Spenser's was a hoot, it always is, we were in there for a while playing with all the toys and pushing buttons. ..And of course I would have loved to buy everything I saw, but the thing that I REALLY liked was that dang massage chair they had out in the mall...OMG..... Now that thing... If you guys are ever at a mall and see one... YOU HAVE GOT TO TRY IT!... It comes real close to being better than sex!!! Hummmm, or as good as sex.... depending on what kind of sex you have been getting..... Hehehehe... ...$1 for 2 minutes and $5 for 12...... Well.... I only took the two minute massage, just checking it out.... and I have got to say I was impressed.....Shoot, it felt like some real hands rubbing and pounding on my back. Think they may have kicked me out of the Mall if I took the whole 12 minute massage....lol.... Ahhhhhh..... Ohhhhhhh....Yeah, thats the spot..... Mmmmmmmm........ Oh yeah baby, ..... give me another dollar! Hummmm.... On second thought... make that five!!

The long scary walk home

Back when my Uncle Claudiene was a teenager the roads were made of wooden planks and there were no street lights. Well there was a dance in town and Uncle Claudiene went, when it was over it was dark and he had a long walk home since he lived out of town. He started walking and once he got out of town it was so dark he couldn't see anything and then he started getting spooked by all the sounds coming from the woods. Then he heard it... Footsteps following him, he would stop walking and the footsteps would stop... He would walk faster and the footsteps would go faster... The footsteps were right behind him and he couldn't see a thing. Uncle Claudiene took off running with whatever it was right behind him, he ran all the way home and burst into the door huffing and puffing but safe. When he got up the next morning he looked out the door and someone's mule had followed him home and was standing out in the yard.

My Uncle the Hobo

During the depression there wasn't a lot of work around here so my Uncle Mutt decided he would hop a train and find work elsewhere and send money home to help support his family. Uncle Mutt found out he wasn't the only one with that idea, many people in that time were doing the same thing, most were following the crop seasons picking fruits and vegetables for farmers. After a while Mutt learned of different Hobo camps set up at different areas close to the railroad tracks, some people had tents others used cardboard for shelter. Sometimes someone would have one big pot sitting over a fire and everyone would take whatever food they had and throw it in and make a big goulash for everyone to eat. Uncle Mutt would go into the camp to visit and get news of work and eat with them. Uncle Mut usually found somewhere to sleep away from the Hobo camps because it was safer because at night you had to worry about being robbed or the police coming in and busting the camp for vagrancy. He once met a couple in one Hobo camp and the lady had no arms, she had a little baby and held it with her legs and feet just like they were her arms. They invited him to stay for supper and she cooked it all over an open fire with her feet.
Well, Uncle Mutt had been working out of town for a while and was homesick and decided he was coming home... But the train he hopped didn't slow down in Newport so he wound up in Little Rock... then he hopped the next train back towards Newport but when it was getting close to town it was going to fast too.. and he wound up in Missouri....this went on for a while and Uncle Mutt was getting tired, he decided if the train didn't slow down he was jumping anyway..... Well, the train was coming in to Newport and showed no signs of slowing down. Two old men on break at the oil mill saw him jump from the train that day... He took a running jump and he hit the ground so hard his feet busted through his shoes and they wound up around his knees.... Those two old men who saw him shook their heads and said... "Mutt's back in town!"..

Don't Mess With The @%# Judge!!

Back when my Dad was in the Marines he was on leave in somewhere in California and got picked up for public drunk and fighting. He spent the night in the slammer and the next day when everyone went to court, he sat and listened to all the other peoples charges. One man who was a cilvian had the same charges as my Dad and the judge fined him $25.00, so my Dad thought that wouldn't be too bad. However, when his turn came and he was up before the judge, the judge thumped his gavel and charged him $50.00! ... My Dad said, "But your Honor, you just charged that other man $25.00!". Then the judge slammed the gavel again and said, "That's another $50.00, do you have anything else to say?" Which of course..... My Dad said, "No Sir, your Honor".... I bet that Judge was an Army man!!!

I'm eating it

Long ago schools consisted of one big building and all the students from all grades were taught by one teacher. You walked to school or rode a horse or your daddy dropped you off from a horse drawn buggy. They didn't have free lunches and they didn't have a cafeteria... You brought your lunch from home and set in on the shelve in the back of the room till lunch time! Well, my Uncle Mutt's family were like all other families in the area, struggling to keep their heads above water. In other words they were dirt poor! Every day for lunch Uncle Mutt had two biscuits, sometimes if they had slaughtered a hog he had sausage or bacon on it. After a while Uncle Mutt got tired of eating those biscuits ever day and decided he would be the first one to the shelves to grab their lunch and he wasn't getting his sack with those biscuits. At lunch time he ran to the shelves and grabbed the heaviest sack and out the door he went, he found a spot behind a tree so he wouldn't be caught eating someone else's lunch. He opened up the sack and poured the contents on the ground and there in front of him were four walnuts and a hammer! After that, he never griped about his lunch again.

Tuesday Night Poker

When I was a little girl I remember seeing beer cans in our trash, but I never remember seeing my parent's drunk. I also remember seeing them playing cards with friends. However, I was too young to realize that Tuesday's were poker night at our house. I guess my Dad's mother put her preacher up to going and inviting him to bring the family to church on Sunday. Of all nights the preacher showed up on poker night. There was a mad dash to hide the beer and the preacher visited and invited everyone to attend church on Sunday and after Dad promised he would think about it he left and the game was back on. Well, Sunday came and went and we didn't go to church. Tuesday night, they were back at it, playing poker and drinking beer and there was a knock at the door. Yep, that dang preacher again. Well, this went on for a few weeks then one Sunday Dad got up early and told Mom to get us up and get us ready to go to church, and we went. Tuesday night poker came and they played and drank beer and the preacher didn't interrupt the game. Dad thought he had finally gotten rid of him. So, Sunday comes and we DON'T go to church. On the following Tuesday during the poker game there he was knocking on the door. The preacher told Dad he missed us at church on Sunday and invited us to come back. Dad got to thinking how this preacher who didn't know him from Adam had spent so much time and effort trying to get him to go to church and really seemed to care. So, this one man somehow turned my Dad around by not giving up .... And my Dad went on to become a preacher himself! Ain't it funny, we never really know if something we do no matter how small it may seem, can help change someone's life!

The Artist

Yesterday when I went to the bathroom, all was well... Everything came out ok.... And then... I reached for the toilet paper and that is when I saw this.....

Never underestimate a kid!!

My Introduction to the Internet

When I got my first computer all was well…. I wasn’t on the internet…. I played games on the computer that I installed from disk I had bought….. THEN...I got the Internet…..

Ohhhh boy… All the places I could go and things I could do…. AND… Not enough time in a day to do it all…
Soooo… I lost sleep…. I sent e-mail…. Chatted in the messenger….Joined groups…. Blogged…. Played games online… and mucked up my computer from time to time!! Which drove me crazy!

Soooo… Now I spend almost as much time working on my computer as I do playing on it…. Got to make it better, right?… Get more stuff…. Oooops that didn’t work… better take it off… Uhhh Ohh… Well shoot, that ain’t right either…. Hummm….I’ll use system restore…. That’s better… uhhh….. No it ain’t… Dammit!!! Now where’d everything go…reinstall this…Uninstall this… re-install that…well , why the heck ain’t that working?? And where WTF did the other thing go??? %#$$@@#$$%$%*%$#@# computer!!!!

Ok…. I got a new monitor…and my tower is all back together… Now I am going to start all over and be nice my system… I love my computer, really I do… and all my online friends... So....I’m not going to make it do things it don’t want to do….. Uhhhh…. But, I’m sure as heck going to keep on trying!!!

If Ya’ll don’t hear from me …. You know what I’m doing!!!!!

Welcome To Church Camp

I grew up as a preacher's kid, however the one thing I never wanted to do.... And never did was go to church camp. Now that I am the parent, I am glad my kid wants to go.... WooHoo... A whole week by myself, peace & quite and a clean house. Well, that week is over... She is back home now and things are back to the everyday chaos that we thrive on.
Church camp is different now than it was years ago. Now the kids all have cell phones and can keep in touch with their parents while they are gone. I guess it helps some on them from feeling homesick and it gives the parents a peace of mind also, well... Sometimes. The day cassidy left for camp, I got three pic's showing where they were at in a two hour period. The next day I had two voice mails and one pic showing this big spider they killed in her cabin!!!

Then on the third day there I get this picture.... Yeah, she lost a tooth... Now how am I supposed to explain the tooth fairy not coming there?? Don't the tooth fairy know God?

Jesus The Cat

Years ago my cousins moved from Arkansas to Missouri. By the time they finally made it to their new home it was getting dark, so they took their family pet, a cat named Jesus inside... and got him all settled and started unloading furniture. Nobody noticed when Jesus slipped out the door.... And for days my Aunt would set out food and call for him... Finally, Jesus came home, but not before neighbors noticed my Aunt standing on the porch calling for Jesus.

One day, a few weeks after my cousins had made a few new friends they were out playing and one of the new friends asked one of my cousins what was wrong with their mother. They didn't have any idea what they were talking about and asked what they meant.... The friend replied... "Well, we see you're momma out on the porch hollering at Jesus saying... "I know you are out there Jesus".... "Come here Jesus"..."Jesus, where are you at?" "Jesus, here is some food"...."Jesus are you lost?""

Now, we have a dog named BooBoo... Sometimes we call him Boo... So, the other day I was standing on the porch calling for him... I was hollering ... Boo....Boo...Boo... One of my daughters friends walked by and I thought nothing of it... UNTIL... The next day....When she came home from her friends house and said her friend said I was standing on the porch trying to scare her..... It must run in the family...

Ain't Got No Shoes!

I remember looking at the class pictures of my mom when she was in elementary school... All of those kids in their finest clothes for picture day and... Some of them didn't have shoes! My mom had shoes, but many people couldn't afford them, so they went without. Now, I never remember not having any shoes, but I once wore my sisters shoes that looked just like mine... And when I came in from school that afternoon my mom took one look at my feet and died laughing... I had worn them on the wrong feet all day long. Well, they were too big, I didn't notice.
Now, my daughter Cassidy.... Let's just say, I don't think she will ever have to worry about having too many shoes. She is always loosing them, tearing them up by dragging her toes while she is riding her bike, or leaving them where the dog can chew on them. Twice last year, I was late for work because I had to take her to buy her a new pair of shoes because she could not find any to wear to school or the dog had gotten a hold of them. Soooo... Last week, she went to church camp with two pair of shoes. On the last day of camp she called to say she had lost both pair. Well, when she went to lost and found... Her shoes were not there but there was a green pair of flip flops that fit, and that's what she came home wearing. Today, her aunt invited her to go to another town to see the fireworks and.... SHE DON'T HAVE ANY SHOES.... She had shoes yesterday!! She had shoes when she left this morning!! And there are two shoes out on the front yard that I recognize... But they don't match.... WTF????.... Anyway... last I saw of her, she was getting in the car, with no shoes!!!!!Wonder how long it will take them to notice she ain't wearing any? Hehehe... I know... One day she will probably remember things differently and tell her kids she was so poor when she was growing up... SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY SHOES!!!!!!!

Slumber Party

I am about to pop a freaking vein!!!!!! My kid is having her Birthday party.... A slumber party... Four girls... Thank God it's Fourth of July weekend and others couldn't spend the night! So.... I have took pic's of her party... and came in here to upload them and walk back into the kitchen and.... IT IS A MESS!!!!!! The $27.oo cake I bought... demolished... on the floor... noodles on the floor..The floor that I swept and mopped then waxed today..... furniture moved around...And that ain't even going to say what they did to my makeup.... OMG ...do I ever want to wring their little necks... NO, I didn't take a pic... But I threw one heck of a fit... They are in there now with the broom and mop and I said it better be clean when I get back in there.... I can be mean when I need to be!! Now what the hell did I get on here for??? Oh, yeah... was going to show a few birthday pic's while the kids are still breathing!!!!!

Kids scattered when I brought the camera out to take pic's of her opening her presents... but the dog loved getting in all the action... Hell, he is the only one I haven't had to holler at tonight. Now, I know why dog is mans best friend..... Ohhh, and I Just checked on the kids... they are on their hands and knees cleaning up that mess.... Hehehe... Got my bluff in on em!!

Tonight I have broken up one fight, two arguments and chewed their butts out big time over that mess... and it ain't even eleven o clock, not to mention my living room is a mess.... Man oh man...... If ya'll don't hear from me.... Raise money for my bail.... They probably deserved it!!!!!

There's a Spot in the Freezer!

Last winter our guinia pig spot died..... I don't remember if it was during the ice storm or too dark or what the reason was... but......We were not able to bury him at the time......So, we wrapped him in a little dishcloth and then in plastic wrap and tucked him away in the deep freezer out on the back porch.....Now it is August and...Spot is still in the deep freezer....lol... Heck, I forget... I'm getting old, I'm busy... "Out of sight out of mind"......Hehehe.........But...He sure was a lot of fun while he was living.... What am I to say??? Every now and then my daughter and I go out on the porch and look in the deep freeze to see what I have tucked in there to eat....And, she see's this little package and hollers... "Mom, is that spot?".....Maybe they will find a cure for what he had before I get around to burying him and we can get him back to life..... I do hope by this time next year... I ain't telling Ya'll he's still out there in the freezer!!! But don't bet on it!!

Oh No, Back to School

I remember watching my older sister get on the school bus and wishing I could go with her. I thought getting all those new clothes and school supplies and getting too ride the big yellow bus and play on the huge playground would be so cool. Well, three years later, I got my wish... WooHoo, I was going to school!!! My sister walked me to my room the first day and I happily trotted my butt in the classroom. We really didn't do a lot the first day, got our books, the teacher talked to us about rules and gave us a lot of papers to take home for our parents to fill out. However, we did get to play on the big playground and ate lunch in the cafeteria. Yeah, I'm thinking... I''m going to like this school stuff......
Then on day two, we started working and following all those rules we couldn't remember. We had to be quiet and listen and could only play during recess..... ..........So by the third day I had done figured out I didn''t like school and I wanted no part of it!!!..... we ride the bus to school... My sister walked me to my room.... But.....I WAS NOT GOING TO GO IN THERE...NO WAY, NO HOW....
While my sister was trying to get me to go in the classroom, my teacher finished the roll call....Then she stuck her head out the door and there we were.... We had a few words and when I said "I ain''t going in", she snatched me up by the arm and in the room I went.... Kicking and screaming and throwing my backpack to the floor...I didn't like it... BUT.... I went....And she wore my butt out with her nice little paddle. That was the first of many paddling's I got that year. However, that was the only one I got for refusing to go into the classroom!You know, that woman is still living today, and I might add from what I have heard.... She's still just as mean as she ever was!!!!

Missed The Bus

This is the second week of school... and I can already see trouble ahead .....I got my daughter up early... as usual... Well, for school usual... and what does she do? Sit and watch the cartoon channel... feed the animals...and say she can't find her hair brush... Well.... NO... you ain't going to find your hair brush sitting on your butt watching cartoons......and then she couldn't find the shirt she wanted.... AGAIN... Nope, not while sitting on your butt....
So the bus normally runs at 7:05 every morning... and at 7:10 she was putting the finishing touches on her hair ..... and then out the door she goes...."I already know it".... SHE HAS MISSED THE BUS... but.. she don't... dumb ass.... I look out the door and there she stands... looking up and down the highway... waiting for the bus.....OMG...If I didn't have to hurry I'd get a pic of her with my camera..... well, at least I got a laugh outta all the hollering I did earlier... anyways ... I step it up a notch getting ready for work... because I know... I'm going to have to take her to school, THE BUS HAS RAN... and it ain't coming back.... So at 7:20 I hear the door... she comes in and ask what time it is... I say... "it's twenty minutes after seven".... Does it dawn on her that if the bus runs at 7:05 and it's 7:20...MAYBE... you missed the bus? Nope... She went down to the corner again.... lol... Well, I was hot earlier but.... I'm laughing now...though, she can't hear me.... I know I have to take her to school ... but... she ain't sitting on the couch watching cartoons till it's time to go...She's sweating it, wondering if she missed the bus and how she's going to tell me... lol
At 7:30 she comes home... I'm in the kitchen... getting my work bags and grabbing my keys.... putting the animals out of the house... and then I ask her.... "Why ain't you down there waiting for the bus?"...... "Momma, I missed the bus"......"Well then, how are you getting to school?".............."Momma!"......Yeah, yeah, yeah... I guess you need a ride, huh? So I took her to school... and then that made me get to work early... Then everyone at work wondered what was wrong... because.... I never get to work on time....Unless someone misses the bus...............

Stop, citizens Arrest!

Yesterday started out pretty good, I made it to the office on time. As we were all heading out of the office for the day we all put our books in our cars and grabbed a cigarette (Yeah, I know.. I'm supposed to be quitting) and everyone had a smoke. I had opened the passenger side door like I always do... put my things in the seat, plus my cell phone and my keys and shut the door.... When everyone started getting in their cars, I walked over to mine and the doors were locked... I searched my pockets.... No keys... WTF? So peering into my window... I see them.... laying right there by my phone... How the heck did that happen... You ain't supposed to be able to lock all the doors by pushing the passenger door lock and I sure couldn't click the button on my key if it was laying in the car seat... Well, one of the girls I work with took me to my little sisters house to get my spare house key, then we went to my house to get my spare car key.... I tore the house up... Couldn't find that key anywhere... So, we go back to the office and call the police.... In three minutes he was there and another 15 seconds my door was unlocked... Wonder why my alarm didn't go off? He said the first one was free and I didn't bother to tell him it wasn't the first time.
Whew, So now I am starting work late after messing with my car.... I am checking my phone an notice I have a missed call from my older sister who lives beside me.... I call her back... I thought she had been listening to her scanner and heard the addy of where I work and the description of my car....so when she answers her phone I just say, "Yeah, it was me"... She said, "In the silver car?" .... "What?'... "there was a silver car at your house".... "Oh, yeah that was me, I locked my keys in the car at work"..
Well, it seems her husband looked out the door and saw someone run into my house... and there was a lady in a silver car on the phone with her motor running... So, my brother in law is getting his shoes... He is going to get in his car and drive a around the block and get the tag number, while my big sis is trying to get some clothes on because she is going to go ask that woman what they are doing at my house.... lol.... Then my brother in law comes in and says ... "Never mind, some kid ran out of the house and jumped in the car and they took off!".... Hehehehe.... I am glad nobody was burglarizing my house and my neighbors had to give an eyewitness account of what they saw!If I didn't know better I'd think she was kin to Barney Fife.....

Onions, Yuck!

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Why do restaurants put onions on the kids burgers? Did they do a survey and find out little kids like onions? I don't think so, I know my daughter won't eat anything if she knows there are onions in it. However, I have found that sometimes if I dice them up real small, she doesn't notice. Now, my daughter loves my potato soup and has been eating it for years. Then one day last year she came into the kitchen as I was throwing the onions into a pot of potato soup I was cooking and she wasn't happy. Then I explained to her, I always put onions in the potato soup, it doesn't taste right if you don't. So, she was happy and ate her soup.
Well last week she decided she wanted potato soup and would not take no for an answer, so I made her potato soup... minus the chopped up ham and onions... She was in the living room eating her soup and watching TV when she hollered, "You forgot to put ham in here".... To which I replied, "I didn't have any ham to put in there"... A few minutes later, she hollered, "Momma, you didn't put any onions in here"... To which I replied, "I didn't have any onions". Then she got mad and said it didn't taste right... lol
Well, last night she wanted me to make her a pot of vegetable beef soup for supper. She walked in just as I was throwing the onions into the pot and she wasn't happy..... Then I explained to her, "I always put onions in vegetable beef soup, it doesn't taste right if you don't". Wait till she finds out there are onions in the meat loaf and chili she has been eating all these years too!

Gingerbread Christmas Trees

We got a new dog a few weeks ago, he had been playing with my daughter for over a week and I thought he was a big ole baby, although I knew he belonged to someone else because he had a collar. However, one of our neighbors didn't think he was such a big ole baby and called the law on him for trying to bite her dad. So while I was looking for his owner the law showed up and they told me to tell the owner to keep him put up. When I found the owner he said he guessed he would have to keep him chained up, then.... I said, " If you decide you want to give him away, we would love to have him". Famous last words...Yeah, yeah, yeah.... Now he is ours..

Soooooo.... Cassidy's aunt gave her a kit to make two gingerbread Christmas trees and we spent an hour putting the darn things together Friday night and left them on the kitchen table. However, when I woke up Saturday morning and went into the kitchen to make my coffee, I stepped on candy balls that were supposed to be on the trees..Ouch, dammit.. WTF is this? I got my coffee to going and turned around and... Lo and .behold... there were no gingerbread trees on the table....Hummmmmm

Must have been a midnight snack for some hungry dog with a sweet tooth.... There was also one pissed off kid when she finally decided to get out of bed... Ho, Ho, Ho...I can hardly wait to see what Christmas brings....Life is full of surprises...Ain't it?