Saturday, October 22, 2011

Should I Kill it?


That dirty flea infested, no good, barking, chewing, shitting dog has gone and pissed me off for the last time. I showed the patience of Job with that dog...I have been working for months trying to house break him... But Nooooo, he can be outside all day and as soon as he comes in the house in the first five minutes he's going to shit somewhere. Well, I ain't Job and after this last little stunt he pulled my patience is gone...
Two days ago, for some reason while I was at the computer I had the urge to take my upper denture out and set it on my desk. I hardly ever take my dentures out and even had a few words with the Doctor last time I went into labor over taking them out. The Doctor didn't like it but... I won, the teeth stayed... How else was they going to understand me when I told them to give me something for pain? Well, I am glad to say, the baby was born and I didn't choke on my teeth during childbirth. OK, now at this point I'm sure someone is thinking, "Why didn't she put them in a glass of water?" I know, I know, I know....

dentures.jpg


So, my teeth are on the desk, right? I play on the computer for a while then get up to do a few things around the house. Later I get back on the computer and play some more....then I decide to put my dentures back in... Well, where are the damn things? WTF? I know I left them here. I look behind the desk, under the desk, in the desk drawers, under my chair, I even look in the bathroom knowing darn well they ain't in there. Then, while I was looking... I saw him...THE DOG... The one who don't follow rules, the one that has been a pain in my butt since he came here... the one who was already on my last nerve...It was then I decided to take a look under his favorite chair... The place he hides all his chew toys ... And... Holy freaking Mother of dentures ....You #%$@& *^%$#$%$^ %#$@!* DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I woke the neighbors up... They probably couldn't understand a thing I said since I WASN'T wearing my dentures....

That little SOB crossed the line this time and the only way he was getting to stay here was if by some miracle he saved my life before morning.... So I kicked his butt and threw him out the door, then I assess the damage... OK, they ain't real comfortable but I can still wear them...at least I'm not going to have to run around without any teeth until I get a new set made. I think as long as I don't smile real big, nobody will ever notice. Well, no miracle happened during the night... Now, I wonder where that mutt is sleeping tonight? Well, at least he still has all his teeth.
DogTeeth.jpg

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